To Love And Be Left

I do hope that you don't read that title and get the impression that this is a melancholy, lovelorn expression of pain. It is not that at all. Rather, my intention is to explore another of the many things in human behavior that I do not understand. Perhaps I'm not wired correctly, or maybe I'm the only one who is. I'll let you decide that. Now the thing is for me that pursuing a woman is very, very tough. There's nothing strange about that, I'm certain. It's a long process that requires much effort and no small amount of material and capital investment. What's different is that I insist on long-term returns.

I suppose that sounds cold and dispassionate. Well, I think you have to take that attitude in the scenario I shall lay out now: Imagine that you meet a woman who is a knockout and who you think is just fantastic in every respect. You want to take a chance, so you begin the charm offensive. It's then that you discover some bad news. It's not a a ring on the finger, which for me means that at least for now she's off-limits but some day might not be, but a piece of news: she's only in town for a few days or maybe weeks.

People I know scoff when I suggest that this is the time to ease off on the romantic campaign and at most work at cultivating a friendship. These are people who consider flings to be worthwhile. To me that's like buying a cute dog with a terminal illness. There may be some some great times in it, but also guaranteed heartbreak, and soon. I guess that guys can do that if they're prepared to be with someone they don't care for. I don't think I could do that.

I don't want a one time thing. It would either be too painful or it would be a useless exercise considering I didn't feel anything for her. No, for me there are some conditions chiseled in stone. The woman in question must be free and clear for a long term relationship that could conceivably go all the way, and I must be amenable to the possibility of that happening. I believe in these things happening organically, so if there is someone who seems right but is shortly bound for someplace I'm not at, then it must not be right- at least not yet.