The Collared Magnet

In many of the less creative comedies, you see bumbling single guys concocting and carrying out ploys to getting the attention of and win affection from attractive ladies. These ploys typically backfire with comical results. An implication is that the ladies need do nothing in order to get offers except wait until a good one comes in. They certainly never seem to attempt their own such maneuvers in order to make a match for themselves with some dream guy. I wonder if that's really so.

The other day, I happened to see something which may have been nothing more than it seemed, but which may have been a woman-driven date scheme. There I was, standing outside a coffee shop in a not entirely unfashionable area. I do love my people-watching, or as past readers may recall I own up to it being, gawking and staring. I had witnessed a gaggle of attractive young women sweep into the cafe, and thought no more of them. A minute or so later, another woman approached the place. I'm not sure she ever managed to get inside.

The reason for this is that she was walking a cute little dog- classic bait for drawing in women when being walked by a guy. I didn't imagine right off that she could be trying the same thing, but soon she was swamped with attention, first from that very gaggle I had seen. Surely this wasn't what she was fishing for. Neither do I imagine that she had meant to haul in an old guy in a suit, although I admit I may be mistaken in that judgment. No, it was a metaphorical net full of boots and seaweed this fisherwoman caught, and I have to believe she threw it back.

Miss, you're obviously not reading this, but as I have no means of locating you again, here is what I believe to be a valid open letter. You don't need to stoop to such tricks to get a guy. Look, I may seem like I can have any woman I want, and I know that's got to be intimidating. That's a very common feeling for women around me, and consequently I'm really quite lonely. There's really nothing to fear in approaching me. Go ahead and ask me out; I believe you'll wind up pleasantly surprised.