Damned Lies

I'm prepared to put up with a lot from those close to me. After all, they're only human, isn't that what people say? Being so, it's only in their nature to falter even when their intentions and motives are good. They will let you down when you are counting on them, and sometimes actively work against you. Worse still, they will lie right to your face. As I said though, they are human, and I forgive them. What of that which is not human, however? The alarm on my phone failed me enough times that I had to just stop using it. Forgiveness comes slowly in that case.

Something I'm still wrestling with is a recently acquired thermometer. As I write this, I feel sick. I'm congested, coughing and sneezing. I feel too hot and I am getting headaches. Not to worry though, because the thermometer report that I'm being delusional, and my temperature is in fact well within the parameters for good health. A lot of other people may have left the critical thinking to machines, but I still handle that myself. The GPS can take a stab at plotting a course to my destination, but when it starts directing me off cliffs and into lakes, I take over again. So it is with this deceitful thermometer.

It was part of a relatively expensive procurement package meant to head off a coming cold or flu at the pass. This time I wasn't going to wait it out day by day hoping it would get better. That would be making it way too easy for women to stereotype men. This time I was going to start treating the thing right off the bat. This was not a good time for me to get sick, although I must concede that after having finished school, there have been few if any good times to get sick. I find they are much less receptive to that kind of thing in the working world.

So there I was, on death's door and fighting for my life. My sole hope for survival lay in the plastic bag of supplies which I had trooped out to buy at great risk to myself in such delicate condition (and in inclement weather, I might add). The thermometer alone amidst cough drops, day cold medicine and night cold medicine had the temerity to challenge the very truth which provided a rationale for its own existence. If I'm not sick, thermometer, then why do I not hurl you onto the street from my building's roof? Consider that question carefully, and then we'll see whether the next reading looks any different.