I Stand In The Arena

I once made what I felt were some fair criticisms of the stand-up comedy I had seen to that point. I stand by them still. It was partly with them in mind that at long last I thundered once more into the breach and performed some myself for a change instead of playing the critic. I had last done standup some four years ago, and the elapsed time will give you some idea of just how well I felt it went. Since then, I've matured and learned a lot about communicating as well as being funny.

I received fairly little notice before the show, and this had the virtue of compelling me to go more or less with my first instincts as far as material was concerned. A scant few hours before showtime, there I was thoughtfully jotting down ideas in my legal pad, refining them and then memorizing what I had settled on while in the shower and en route to the theater. This is the routine that I have gotten into as a result of Toastmasters, and basically I treated standup as one more speech.

Before the show started, I was of course somewhat nervous, though I tried not to show it too much. I wasn't coming unglued, but I was restless (and quite unable to comprehend the material of any comic who preceded me). Disaster struck a few minutes before I was to go on. There was a particular joke which I worried about crossing the line with regard to the audience I expected to be there. I was discouraged from using it, and frantically worked on what would replace it nearly until the last minute. The substitute joke wound up being perhaps the biggest laugh.

The nature of these things is that the build up lasts days or weeks, and the moment itself is over in the blink of an eye. My mind was working on this thing at full speed for maybe 48 hours, and when it came down to it I started and finished the thing itself in under four minutes. Longer than the buildup for sure is the aftermath. I was blessed with the opportunity to have and disseminated a recording, and I have scrutinized it at length. As brutal as I can be, I find that I cannot be too harsh on myself where the merits of this performance were concerned.

More encouraging still were the reactions of my peers. It meant a lot to me that one in particular came over and talked to me at all, let alone that it was to praise my effort. Others who offered encouragement and criticism were themselves far more experienced stand-ups, and I was glad to hear their plaudits as well as their constructive criticism. I will take it into account. Here's hoping that the time to show what I've learned comes swiftly.