Bump Or Stick Her

I ride in a lot of people's cars, and they seem to blend together in my memory. You'd think I would know everyone's cars, but I don't. I'm always walking strategically behind the driver of whatever car so that hopefully they don't notice my ignorance. I am quicker to observe details about the cars of strangers, be they parked or in motion. Something interesting is bumper stickers. I may not be the first person to comment on them, but I will have my say in any case.

To me, bumper stickers are a lot like cats. The more you have, the more cause there is for people to worry about you. It seems like all of them out there now are of a political nature, when once they were strictly humorous. One is probably fine, especially if it is for an active election campaign, but each one after that is more reflective of an unhinged mind. Worse still, each one increases the odds of your car being defaced in your absence as an answer to your political expression. I don't think it's worth it.

The exception to that political thing is the honor roll sticker. I never made any honor roll or dean's list, but was student of the month once. I think every student at that grade school got to be at least once. I don't think there was a sticker for that, although I got some coupon for a kid's meal at some local restaurant. I don't think much of trumpeting anything one's child did via bumper sticker, but I can understand the impulse to do so. A lot is invested into kids, so it's reasonable enough to be glad when there's a return on it. I just wouldn't put it on the car. It breeds resentment, and the car pays the price again.

Why can't we go back to the fun, frivolous stickers? Everyone is so charged and on edge? If it were within my power to do so, I would have bumper stickers promoting radio stations or saying things like 'Librarians Do It Quietly'. You know what I mean- stuff that everyone can get behind. Just don't get me started on the fact that bumpers don't really exist anymore. The change to integrate them into the body of the car was a big mistake.