Pocket Talk

I've long been aware of how little sense it makes for a man to keep his wallet in his back pocket. God willing, the wallet is thick with paper money and credit cards, which makes for difficulties when he sits down. Worse, the wallet is there in a place all too vulnerable to theft. How am I to protect it there? When I walk through crowds, my hand sometimes bolts downward to cover the wallet. Whether that will prevent it from being extracted I don't know, but I'm sure at least that I would detect the theft and either somehow recover the wallet or at least quickly take measures to ensure the cash is all I lose. Thankfully, I have not developed terrible spinal cord issues, nor have I been robbed by a pickpocket, but those are two very good reasons to consider another place to keep my wallet. Obviously using something other than a wallet is not within the realm of possibility.

A more mundane concern which touches on fashion is the structural integrity of the pocket itself. The golden age of grunge may be behind us in the hoary days of the early 90's, but shabby, ripped jeans remain acceptable if not reasonably popular. That being the case, I am in no rush to replace any of my jeans. They're comfortable, they fit and shopping for new ones is only a bit more palatable than seeing the dentist. Finding pairs that meet both of the aforementioned criteria is like finding a platinum mine. You're lucky if it happens once. What I'm getting at is that more than one pair of jeans in my wardrobe is suffering enough wear and tear that the back pocket where I put the wallet is breaking down. I fear more and more the possibility of the wallet slipping through and being lost.

That's an outside chance at the moment, but a present concern is that of easily removing and replacing the wallet in the pocket without getting ensnared in the threads and shreds of the pocket. That used to happen only with my foot and the holes in the knees. If there's a saving grace in all that, it's that there remains as I said some trace of the coolness which Cobain and others brought to uncared-for garments. Together with my hair and sunglass, the whole look appears downright planned and not incidental. I would never contrive it, but since it has happened I'm glad to go with it.

I don't know how much I can push this pocket thing. They ought to make select areas much tougher than the rest of the jeans. I imagine they do already, but not by a sufficient margin. Maybe they could do something like is the case for construction boots, which tend to have a steel toe. Why can there not be anything of that kind for pockets or for the knee are? I don't mean it has to be steel, which would be uncomfortable and badly exacerbate injuries which happen to the knee. There must be something, though. It will take someone of great vision to see the problem and find the solution- someone like Walt Disney or RFK. In their absence, maybe I'm the guy. I'll let you know if I come up with anything.