Final Dream?

For several days I have analyzed my dreams in plain view of the few people on this Earth who take an interest in my thoughts. I may or may not have learned something from the exercise. If I have not, at least I made the effort, and as I was apt to get embarrassed and waste a lot of time in life no matter what, there was no harm in it happening this way. At any rate, let us get straight to the matter at hand for today.

The dream goes like this: "dream about Linda. something about plans later, but she was trying to connect with some guy who was showering." That's all there is. Linda is an actress I know through church activities. She's kind, effervescent and awfully attractive. This dream is, in a perhaps less explicit fashion, much like the one which concerned Lucinda. I did not give them rhyming fake names on purpose, but there are parallels.

With Linda, I sometimes get the idea that from her end a relationship is conceivable, but alway before I get carried away there is some unmistakeable word or deed that connotes mere platonic friendship. As with Lucinda, it's difficult to see a relationship working anyway, but that's not why I am reluctant to make the attempt. One must have a plan for landing a plane before taking off, but the some protocol does not hold for relationships. The sticking point is, as always, the horrible fear of rejection.

I ought to be at the point where that is no sticking point at all. A writer and performer who I admire has offered the reminder that we are all going to die. The point of saying so is that when one bears that in mind, one has no reason for delaying or for not risking. When death is a foregone conclusion, there is no time to waste and there is nothing to lose. All is already fated to be lost. One must risk in order to gain anything to lose. That's what I think this one is about.

Well, that's the last of the dreams I have on paper presently. Like I said, there may be more coming and there may not be. Whether I report any more here, I hope to subject the rest to the same scrutiny that I have these six or so. It may be of considerable benefit to me, and then again it may be of no benefit. Either way, it's something to do. There are enough bored hours in my life that I can spare some on dreams.