Change From Within

As time passes, I get more and more tired of holding things back. We all learn to keep much of what we think to ourselves for various reasons. Not every thought merits being shared, for one thing. For another, many thoughts we have would be hurtful to people, and so we spare their feelings by maintaining our silence. More so than many, I decline to say what's on my mind, or at least to say it to the person I want. I'll find someone else to say it to.

More and more, though, I find myself becoming more candid. I now say things in this blog that I probably would not have, both because fewer than ever are reading it and because I have less and less time and energy to get very clever with my posts. About all I can do now is say things plainly and hope there is no trouble from it. To date there has been no trouble, probably because no one particularly is reading.

Here it is easy to be honest, since it is basically to no one, even when there are readers. Even on social networking sites, it is rather easy to be so, since it carries less of the risk that comes with face to face contact. Indeed, it's all too easy to speak freely on sites like Facebook. I find myself slipping across the line, and I wonder if I would have caused no offense in person because I wouldn't have said it or because my true meaning would have been more apparent.

It could prove more beneficial than I think to be fully honest. I often suffer from being indirect in my conversation, and saying what's on my mind point blank would have to result in some positive outcomes just as it would result in some negative ones. I'm inclined to think that the trade off is worth it if I can just take that leap of faith. It would be regrettable to have some people think less of me, but it would be worth it if that were balanced out by others thinking more of me.