Ruined Right

I've written about how I have a few scars. I feel fortunate that they are either unnoticeable or decent-looking. Were it otherwise I would someday look into having them removed upon finding that I had the money. It's also the case that a lot of my clothes are pretty worn out. The pants are especially in bad shape, and the jeans the worst of these. Most are ripped and a few are stained. I feel lucky too that these pants are degraded in the right way.

Just what is it that makes a severe bit of damage to some jeans good and not bad? It seems to me that you want your rips to be straight lines, or at least not too jagged. You certainly don't want something like an L-shape that opens up a flap. It's fine for the knees to tear, but you've got to be careful when inserting your legs that you don't open up the knees too badly. When you inevitably do, that's when you think about making yourself a pair of cut-offs.

What of stains? I think it's similar. You want a stain to be in subdued colors if possible, and not too irregular. What's good with moles is good with stains. Unlike moles, once you've got one stain, I think you want more. One on its own is no good. A bunch all over diffuse attention so that people might not notice the stains at all. If they're homogenous though, then you don't want them all joining to look like one big stain, particularly if it lies in the seat of the pants or the front.

When they rip, I think of patching them and realize I couldn't sew to save my life (if such an outlandish scenario may be entertained). Moreover, even a small sewing kit would cost more than a new pair of used jeans. When they stain, I think of bleaching them all over, but I decide that is just a crazy idea, and even if it could work in someone else's hands, it would most certainly not in mine. I just have to hope that the stains and rips are the good kind.