Ostracized!

I'm fortunate enough to have a lot of very good friends. They are kind, generous, smart and fun. By association with them I have been exposed to wonderful things, and connected with fantastic opportunities. For someone who grew up having at no time more than two or three friends (who were great), it's really something. They're all just wonderful for me, and I want badly to reciprocate whenever I can.

Sometimes they can be a malevolent force, though. Maybe it's tough love or something, but tough love hurts. The thing is that I have to be able to keep up with my friends. In eating, drinking and the few other matters that are very serious, I can't get far behind, or I'll be left behind. It moves me to do more and to do better, which is good. Sometimes I question the nature of the ties that bind, and what happens if I don't keep up.

The big thing that has pained is television. These days, missing an episode of a show leaves me in the dark since events transpire over longer periods of time than a single episode. Thus it is that if I've missed a few I have to avoid the possibility of spoilers. This annoys people, and a hostile pushback results from my angry demands that they stop talking about the show. The longer this goes on, the surer I am that I am becoming a pariah.

I can't bear to lose touch with people, and so now I must stay as up to date as I can manage to with shows.  Once they air, the clock starts ticking. Every day that goes by with me still ignorant of the show threatens to see me cut off from all of those people who are very dear friends except in that they have such expectations of me in media consumption. It's a tough row to hoe, a truly Sisyphean task. I dare not stop pushing that boulder, though. The people at the top are too much fun.