A Rant From Across The Pond

I can't say I've ever had much affinity for royalty. I guess such antipathy is in my heritage, or at least it's supposed to be. We the people went to war more than once to rid ourselves once and for all of the meddlesome influence of the hated British. Subsequently we became close allies, but continued to take potshots at such targets as remained appropriate. We laugh at wigs in court and are disdainful of a generally stuffy attitude. We used to be, at least.

There is an unfortunate turning of the tide in progress. Each of our most revered superheroes is now being played in film by a subject of the British Commonwealth. The various accents of our erstwhile enemy continue to leave our women smitten. It's a stealthy cultural invasion far more malicious than the one which brought us the Beatles and so many more great rock bands. I fear that with all of this I'm the only one left to bemoan what's happening.

The worst thing of all has got to be this inexplicable fawning interest in a royal wedding. I don't know which would be worse: a wedding for a relevant monarchy pressing us under its thumb or the reality of a pretend monarchy receiving such undeserving attention and affection. Just what is the significance of all of this? There's this family of people who are at best unremarkable and at worst downright unpleasant, and handed to them is fake dominion over millions. When a Prime Minister is named, she invites them to form a goverment and he or she pretends that to be necessary before proceeding. I don't care for it.

Now God knows I have deep affection for Great Britain and the Commonwealth. After all, half of my own lineage is English (the other half may be French, but I assure you that's not relevant to any hard feelings I'm showing). Sure, there's some facetiousness and irrational emotion mixed in with the earnest  and reasonable feelings above, but let's not debase ourselves as Americans by gawking like bumpkins at this alleged fairy tale wedding of ordinary human beings who are to be called prince and princess and bowed to from afar by entranced free human beings whose ancestors could surely not be pleased to see such a sight. At the very least, let's ignore this thing, because it really doesn't concern us.