Death Task

I have been on camera and I have performed before crowds. I say that not to brag but to provide some perspective. You see, during those things, I may have had nerves, but I was never scared or inclined to run away. They say that public speaking is many peoples' greatest fear, but for me it is very different. I would sooner speak for hours than do some things that others don't even think twice about. One of those feared acts had to be done before the wedding for which I was in Sarasota. I had to get a suit.

I'm not by nature a suit-wearing type. I wear t-shirts and jeans- badly ripped jeans through the back pocket of which my wallet could easily fall and get lost. I don't even like trying on, picking out and buying those things. I start off in the store on edge, and my anxiety builds and builds until I just have to run away. I have to escape or else I fear being crushed. That's picking out a regular pair of pants. Just imagine what it becomes when we're talking about a proper suit.

I knew months in advance that I would have to do this. I didn't even think about doing it until it came down to the last week or so. Once it got to that point, I started looking into places around LA where I might get a suit, but just thinking about it started my skin to crawling. I could feel a cold sweat come on, and then I would just back off it like a coward. I guess that's how most people would react to doing standup comedy, but I'm just wired differently.

At long last in the morning of the wedding day, there could be no more reprieve. With the aid and comfort of my mother and sister (not to mention the valiant efforts of the main saleslady and the shoe salesman), the deed was at last done. I leaned heavily on their counsel, and particularly that of my sister, who alone among us was in touch with current fashions. I had input most of all in the selection of the tie, and otherwise deferred to the judgement of others. The suit came out quite nicely, if I do say so. I will be looking for any and all opportunities to wear it now that I have it. As they say, when what you have is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.