Checks And Balances

People seem to write few checks these days. It would seem to be so consistently the case that the Post Office is suffering a drop in general mail volume for lack of printed bills being sent out and printed checks being sent back. This is not about the beleaguered USPS, however. This is about checks. I know I write them seldom, with the rent check being a solitarily regular exception. I guess I nonetheless write more than ever before, since I actually have bills to pay now. I do have some thoughts on them.

I used to just have this stack of them unaccompanied by a register. When I finally ran out (after years), the time came to order new checks. I did not especially enjoy it. They have a lot of fanciful designs meant to afford customers the chance to express themselves when they pay people. I find other avenues for self-expression. Checks are not the place for that. I recall vividly the 'Seinfeld' episode wherein a character is humiliated by a a business displaying his bounced check, which features a design of clowns. Why risk that? I prefer a very plain check. It, like vanity plates on a car, has the additional practical benefit of being cheaper.

I suppose I don't write checks in a fashion unlike anyone else. To do so probably would end in disaster. I just write the lucky entity's name, then write the amount twice- once in numbers and once in words. I try to make the latter take up enough space that I don't have to add the line meant to keep the entity from getting greedy and accomplishing nothing but turning a good check into one that will bounce. I add the line I must. Somehow it seems just a bit silly. I then sign the front of the check, and send it on its way while marveling that someone would place any value whatsoever on this piece of paper I just wrote on. I could have wrote it for any amount, and they have no way of know if I'm good for even a dollar.

Maybe the most interesting part is the "for" space. I could write anything there, and it would not impact the legitimacy of the check. I could, but I don't. I write just what it's for on the check, and again on the register alongside the rest of the critical information. Of course, the register is practically superfluous. I have yet to require consultation of it. It's kind of like the Zippo lighters I once carried for a brief time: it just seems like something you ought to have. Once upon a time, when sending the check meant not getting it back, it would have been nice to be able to look at it again. Now, they work such miracles on the website that I can see any check I send or receive whenever I like. As knowledgeable as I am about such things, it's still amazing what advances have been made in banking as far as I the consumer am concerned. I'll be quite glad when the check itself is a thing of the past.