The Boring Innards

Something that I fight against is isolating myself. It's very easy for me to spend the majority of my time holed up at home, remote even from my roommates (though schedules have something to do with that). The increasingly warm weather of late spring and summer compels me at least to leave my bedroom door open, allowing some interaction between them and myself to happen at least incidentally. I suppose that's a blessing of a kind.

A fair amount of socializing and exposure to society happens accidentally for me. The other day, I found a 90 minute public transit trip necessary. I went and forgot to bring my book or my headphones, leaving me few avenues to shield myself against the world and the people inhabiting it. I did, I should say, have my phone, and I spend much of the time composing jokes. The rest of the time was devoted to ensuring I made it to my destination.

I didn't honestly end up speaking to anyone in that time outside of the driver of a bus. I like to think that counts for something. I sure didn't have to say anything, and he didn't have to reply, but we both conducted a voluntary social interaction, and that felt nice. I also managed to talk to a grocery store cashier (since I can't buy alcohol via the automatic teller thing), and while this is another pitiful victory, it's still something. I have no shame in counting it.

This is all that came of being open to to socializing with people this occasion, but I've achieved more in the past. I had a whole conversation with a guy waiting for the bus not so long ago, and other stuff like that could easily happen in the future. After all, don't I do very well with people I know well, and in performance situations? Having the capacity to socialize in those ways means I'm capable, so I just have got to keep making the effort.