This Year's Clothes

In past years, Halloween has consisted for me of numerous costume parties, each of which represented a chance to strike gold with a costume haphazardly assembled at the last minute. Sometimes I have just thrown things together and played my intentions close to the vest until a consensus emerged as to what people thought I was. The last couple of years, the costume that proved to be the most memorable was an inexplicably fat version of someone (last year David Lee Roth and the year before, Doc Brown).

It has helped to be the steward of a prop and costume box whose primary function is supplying the production of comedy sketches. It has sometimes supplemented a costume, but is not in itself enough to furnish any complete costume. This year it did contribute one or two things for me and for my roommate. I do wish it could have done more, because I didn't this year come up with anything better than my very mediocre average.

Weeks ago, I had the vague idea of doing Magnum, PI. I have the mustache, although it is blonde and not black. My hair is a liability, as is my physique. I have the Hawaiian shirt and swimming trunks, but not the Detroit Tigers hat (which is hard to come by. Perhaps I might have done better if they had advanced to the World Series this year, as they threatened to do). I opted for a Ford ballcap and a gray wig that at least was short, straight hair.

The response was not good a couple nights ago, with many guessing that I was a generic tourist and others guessing that I might have been Bernie of "Weekend At Bernie's". I confess that I did not earn better guesses than that, but I can take a hint. As I write this, there is a costume party this evening where I may simply declare myself to be Bernie. If so, I'll report how that went. If it is a success, that may be how I go for all the rest of the parties. It's a method.