Facing Up To It

I was thinking about the manner in which I have grieved in my life. Specifically, I was thinking about my reaction to deceased pets. A friend had her dog die on her, and I must confess that I was somewhat put off by her reaction. I admit that's really not right, and that it makes me look pretty callous. A person has a right to get upset however they want when they experience a loss, even if it isn't the loss of a person. Maybe she would say the dog is a person. I don't think like that.

I always remember how George Carlin said once that a person buying a dog is buying a tragedy. It makes sense when you think about it. You could buy a puppy that lives fifteen years or you could see it run down in the road the next day, but the outcome is the same. The dog dies and you get your heart broken. I don't mean to counsel that people shouldn't invest themselves emotionally in anything, but they ought to be aware from the start of what's coming. To paraphrase Kris Kristofferson, "The going up is worth coming down."

The last time a dog of mine died, it was rather sudden. As in my example above, it was hit by a car. I was very upset, both by the death and by the driver not being made to make amends in any respect. We buried the dog, and I grieved. The following day, I skipped class and went to the movies. I figured I was due that much leeway while I was so fragile emotionally. Soon enough, I was over it. I can look back now without anguish, though I miss the dog.

As I have gotten older, I've maybe become more judicious in my mourning. I don't go out of my way to do it, as some do. I used to find it callous of my father to not react as I did to the news of some celebrity's death, but I get it now. It hurts very badly when someone (or even something) you care about deeply dies. Why people go hunting for that experience is beyond me (not that I'm accusing my friend of that). It's horrible. When there's no way around it I react deeply, and I keep it to myself.