Charity Case

It's no secret that I don't drive. I take public transportation and I ride my bicycle. I get rides from friends when it is convenient to them and necessary to me, but I do try to avoid leaning on them too much. I fear terribly the prospect of being seen as the moocher of rides, the indigent malcontent (if that's quite the word I'm looking for). Sometimes I find that very easy, as many people take no notice of someone who's not getting into their own car to leave a place.

Sometimes people notice too well. This is, I guess, a good problem. Some friends of mine are well aware of how I get around, and it seems to worry them terribly. They look on my mode of transportation as I would look on someone who travels exclusively by hitchhiking. That would horrify me, and I would start busting my ass trying find that person any other way to get where they're going. Some people act that way with me.

You can't convince some people that you're fine. Now, I'll always take a ride if it's going to save me a lot of trouble. I'll put up with a person's fretting over their messy car, and I'll fulfill what I imagine to be my obligation of making conversation. I'll even ask around for a ride if it's really necessary, and I don't like to ask. If I don't need the ride because I can get home just fine my own way, I won't ask and I will try to refuse.

Some people just won't let me refuse. They won't believe you when I say I'm fine. I find myself accepting to relieve their troubles instead of my own, and isn't it funny how often it works out that the person who is ostensibly being helped is the one who winds up doing the helping? At the very least, if I'm being inconvenienced by the kindness of goodhearted friends, I'm at least forced into be a little more social.