Hard To Swallow

I've got these vitamin pills, and I don't know what good they still are. I say still because I know they have value as a balance to my diet, but I say I don't know what good they are because I have had this bottle for several years. It is partly empty because of various momentary (and ultimately irrational) health scares, but still contains some pills because my various solemn resolutions to improve my health have always been short-lived.

They taste like hell, these pills. I don't deny that when I take them, it is in the morning along with something like hash browns and some cheap coffee full of non-dairy creamer and sugar cubes. Still, they make me feel nauseated, and that's no reaction that I think I ought to be getting from these non-mandatory pills. I'll take that from something that's saving my life today, but not that's adding days on to the end. A pill like that had better at least taste like nothing.

There are short-term psychological effects. I feel great knowing that I can brag about my healthy living with some confidence to people who don't know me well enough to know that it's a lot of bluster. So long as I'm so slender and I don't have to display feats of athleticism, there's no reason why they should be any the wiser. Certainly they won't find out my deception by seeking out this blog, since only those who know me best of all do so.

As slowly as I have taken these pills, the bottle will diminish to nothing someday. At that time, I shall reach a crossroads. Either I must turn my back on the idea of actively seeking good health, or I must buy another jar. If I do the latter, I'm sure that I will be far more motivated to swallow them at a more rapid pace. Probably I will seek out the sort that is chewable and tastes all right, or else I will treat myself as I would a dog, and wrap the damn pills in some folded-over bread.