Regaling

I don't think it happens often, but every once in a long while, the attention of a group falls on me, evidently eager to hear what I have to say. I am used to either listening and speaking in turn or forcing my thoughts upon people, occasionally getting some of them to land anyway. Seldom, as I said, has it been the case that a lot of people have turned the floor over to me, only asking questions to elicit more from me and never introducing their own thoughts.

I don't mean to say that's what I am after exactly, but it is terribly flattering when it happens. I can think of only a handful of occasions, often when I have happened to be very prominent in a performance or when I have been all talked up by some friend. The former has happened when I have done my one man show about Mark Twain. Theater of that kind is definitely right up the alley of anyone who can't bear to share attention.

Actually, it can be rather intimidating when you get everyone's attention. It's something like a dog getting hold of the car he was after. I'm more used to surprising people with something they end up liking rather than fulfilling expectations. The pressure of expectations often makes me wilt. I never really expect to get undivided, unqualified attention. I'm just battling for a moment, and if I get that much I am apt to count it a victory.

It does seem to happen more and more that people want to hear what I have to say rather than having to be compelled to hear it. Perhaps I am wearing them down, or else I am developing into someone who says things that are worth hearing for the first time. If so, that's good. I don't have such a bad look at the moment, but I have no illusions about it being how I make my way in the world, or even lasting for so very long. I'd better be able to hold people's attention with my words.