Aiding And Abetting

In my neighborhood, like in so many urban neighborhoods across the country, there are pigeons. They are unpleasant, although they could be worse here than they are. The do not maraud or lay down coats of excrement to a really gratuitous degree. Still, they are far worse than they could be as well, since I don't see any reason for them to be here at all, nearly. Certainly under natural circumstances the place is not really hospitable to them.

Here is where the human element comes in. I don't get some people. You'll see how someone risked their life or even died to save a cat that wandered into the road, and just what is the upshot of such heroics? A mean, amorous night-owl of a cat that draws breath for another day. It's a similar story with the pigeons. They are loathsome creatures, and yet someone feeds them- desires that they hang around here!

I wondered for so long who it was and what their motives could be. I speculated about both, and fantasized about what I would say in a confrontation with them- how I would chastise them and set them straight. I had a lot of witty, persuasive points tailored for varying levels of physical and verbal intimidation, and all that was lacking was opportunity. It seemed too much to hope for that I could catch them and spring all this on them.

The day came, however! There I was in mid-day walking back to my place past the spot where all the bird seed gets dumped, right under the power lines where a walking path abuts a small neighborhood road. A modest car sat there idling, and two goofy-looking men talked while unloading seed. They looked precisely like the kind of dopes who would identify with diseased rat-birds over their fellow men.

In the moment, I lost all of the things that I had meant to say and do. I suppose that I never had the nerve to really do it. I would like to think that my scowl said it all as I walked by, but I'm sure they didn't notice at all, or misread it. Another such opportunity is doubtful, so maybe there's another way. Perhaps I can contrive some kind of message that would purport to be from the pigeons. It would say how they don't want any more seed. Of course, this is merely an idea. If I develop it thoroughly enough to carry it out, I shall report the outcome.