Wrapped Around My Little Finger

After I graduated high school, it seemed like the thing to do was to get a class ring. I had the idea somehow that you get issued one, and everyone gets an identical item. It turns out that it's not so much like the Super Bowl in that respect as I though. You have to buy the ring, and you have to make a lot of choices which affect the price of the ring and which distinguish yours from everyone else's. I'm not sure of where that ring is now.

For some time I wore it, but soon enough I couldn't stand to anymore. I suppose you get to a point of maturity which no longer permits you to wear a high school class ring, but I don't think I got as far as that. It start to really unnerve me, having that thing on there. I would sometimes feel a desperate need to get it off, and even when the process was eased by soap and water, it could be a real task getting it off of there. When at long lost I was almost unable to remove it, I would not put it back on.

I haven't worn any such jewelry since then. It has become less and less irregular for a man to wear other forms of ornamentation, but it has never been my thing. You can imagine that if picking out pairs of pants is a problem, then something like an earring is an obvious non-starter. A slap bracelet is possible, and I've done that. It's hardly actual jewelry, and it's years out of style, but I've done that. I'm sorry that's no substitute for a ring.

The day may well come that I have to wear a wedding ring (or, I should say, get to). I wonder if my wife will permit me to not wear it on my finger. I'm not some guy who would try to appear single for nefarious reasons, but I just don't want the thing on there. Maybe the lady would allow me to wear it around my neck. If so, I would be glad to extend her the same liberty. You just never know when that ring's going to jam and force you to get out the hacksaw.