Food & Fight

From time to time, I participate in a speech-giving contest as a part of my activities in Toastmasters. Of course, the most important thing that I get out of that experience is the food. It is, therefore, bitterly disappointing when there is no food. One might as well be told that a baseball game is not to be part of the day's attractions at Dodger Stadium, or perhaps more accurately that there is to be no food offered during the game.

I have to restrain myself from eating before it is my time to speak. Needless to say, many foods are less than conducive to making yourself understood in a pleasant fashion. I won't go into that any more than I already have. Other foods simply slow you down, deprive you of energy or saddle you with far too much energy. I'm not much for strict observance of a diet, but contest organizers could learn a lot about the foods that set you up for success.

There are also the foods that are fine in that regard, such as salad, but which set off the obsessive/compulsive and the burgeoning germaphobe in me. I blame that largely on touch screen phones, although they are not the lone culprit. The upshot, in any case, is that I cannot bear messy foods in a situation where I cannot easily get to a place where I can wash my hands. A contest is a place like that. It is also a place where you cannot make too much noise while eating, so scratch the crunchy foods.

What is the solution? Well, it doesn't seem entirely unreasonable that we might have as a lone food offering milkshakes. They really fulfill all of the conditions that I got at above, provided that you don't start slurping once you have properly gotten to the bottom of the cup. I guess they could get expensive and wouldn't be too healthful. If they're ultimately unworkable, then I guess I had better just eat at home before I head out.