Pull The Trigger?

It's interesting to me how the social networking websites that have come to dominate the internet have affected the mechanics of our relationships. With the exceptions of marriages and committed romantic relationships of an informal nature, the ties that bound us once were largely unspoken. Two people were friends then only because they both thought so, and sometimes one person thought they were more so than the other.That could fly because there was nothing in writing to contradict it. How different things are now.

It's like marriage certificates for mere platonic friendships. If one person gets the idea that they are friends with someone who doesn't think so, a rude awakening is coming to the naif in question. For me it has gone both ways. Like many, I have struggled to integrate new technology with the social rules I've learned or conceive of new rules to deal with it. You used to see somebody one, twice and then a few more times, slowly becoming more familiar until you realized they were your friend. Now it's a thing that happens in the blink of an eye officially against the same slow progress. When do you extend that official offer?

Do you do it the first time you meet someone you like? I don't know that to be an adequate basis on which to determine a "beautiful friendship". I do it sometimes, but with uncertainty. Do you wait a while- even so long that you realize one day that you're friends with someone in real life but not according to the website and you just can't believe it? I'm not an entirely patient guy. I agonize over packages in the mail, grow exasperated over food which takes longer than three minutes and bull rush into the improv scenes which I don't wait to long to enter, so I too often err on the side of aggressive friending.

Now, these sites have become the most reliable way to reach some people, so it matters how long there is no connection there. I may be less socially awkward than I ever have been, but it is no thanks to this online socializing. I probably was better off the old way, except that Facebook has saved me plenty of times when I've forgotten the name of someone and felt just awful about it because I absolutely should not have. The other thing, though- official friendships by mutual consent? I could do without it.