The Case Of The Eighty-Sixed Drunk

There's a great deal to like about not knowing things. They  say that ignorance is bliss, and so far as you can carry on in that way without suffering the inevitable consequences, it's true. It's not that which is so interesting at the moment, however. What's rather stimulating for me is to try and figure out something I've witnessed when I have only part of the narrative, and maybe not even much of it. It's less putting together a jigsaw puzzle than taking one with pieces missing and trying to determine what the whole looks like without any knowledge of what is lacking. It's fun.

I happened to be out at a bar in Hollywood some time ago- a rather large bar passing itself off as an Irish pub. What it lacks in authenticity it makes up for in affordability and general entertainment value. An excellent example of the latter happened on this occasion. As closing time draws near, the establishment takes progressively more severe measures to coax the barflies out on their own volition. First they have last call and then start turning off tv sets. After that they make everyone move forward to the front of the bar. It was at this stage that several burly employees muscled a somewhat disordered-looking man out the front door from the upper floor. As they went down the stairs, an janitor with mop and bucket in tow went up the stairs. That's all I know for sure.

Had I inquired of the bouncers what was going on, I am not optimistic that I would have received any straight answers. As it was, I did not ask mainly because I'm a shy type. In a way I'm glad, because not having asked for or received an explanation, I have the luxury now of trying to figure things out on my own. Better still, whatever explanations I conceive of cannot ever be disproved for want of any means to locate and question the persons involved in future.

I do wonder what might have happened. I would guess that the ejected man directly or indirectly made a mess either by spilling drinks or by inappropriately conducting one bodily function or another. Beyond that there is no real data on which to base further speculation except that I think he must have been judged a threat to further disrupt the peace and hygiene of the bar. He may or may not have been willing to go on his own, but if he was then it must be assumed that the establishment did not trust him to do so. I don't know if there was someone else involved or whether the man was permanently banned. I really don't know or suspect anything further except that I enjoyed thinking about the thing.