Don't Get The Wrong Idea

I got a phone call from the lady at the bank the other day. It showed up on my phone as just some local number from back home, but obviously one from someone I don't ordinarily hear from. The logical assumption seemed to be that it was a wrong number, which happens.Wrong numbers necessarily are from back home, given that my number hasn't changed. Anyway, leave it to the bank to wake me up at the indecent hour of 10 in the morning, questioning me about the wisdom of the reliance of my investment strategy on CDs.

She seemed to have a misguided image of me in her mind, starting right off the bat with the assumption that I have an investment strategy. The woman knew exactly how much money I had in that CD, as well as the other accounts which accrue even less interest. For her sake, I hope she was treating me as though I were a man of much higher financial status strictly out of politeness or something. Perhaps I am, in fact, in the elite upper levels of humanity that her job puts her in contact with. Had we gotten onto the subject of literature or film, I would not have been so depressed, but we were strictly in an area as far from my wheelhouse as it is possible to get.

That wasn't all there was, either. Even in the hazy, rasping confusion that marks the first few minutes I am awake each day, I was most bemused by her offhand reference to my wife. I guess that in most cases, it must pay off to assume the customer is married. Of course, if I were in fact married, I would most definitely have been eager to consult with her before changing the retirement plan at the behest of a banker down at the local branch back home. I think that suggesting that I couldn't pull the trigger without a green light from the wife is a rather nefarious strategem.

Probably the source of most of the confusion is my voice. I may have written of this before, but my voice seems to be rather misleading. I wouldn't say this if there weren't numerous examples. Blood relatives who have known me my whole life are routinely deceived by my voice into thinking that I am my father. People who don't know me simply thing that I'm considerably older than I am. In person, the voice is aided in that by my facial hair (but that's another matter). Given all this, it's only natural that I am now considering how best to exploit this little edge that I seem to have over some people.