Home State Blues

I've always been very proud of where I came from. I cannot imagine feeling anything but love and gratitude for the city and place which was so instrumental in making me what I am. I couldn't understand when others born there derided it and left, and took personal offense. Even when I left, it was not about any dislike for what Arizona was- there just seemed to be only one place where I could make a living with my education and talents, and it was Los Angeles. Sure, I've always been frustrated by the prevailing political slant of the state, but feel for the first time shame and embarrassment.

There's not simply one notorious development which has provoked this, but several. They are not even entirely recent, but now are accruing such mass and momentum that it has finally really hit me. It used to be other states that drew the fire of comedy shows and massive demonstrations. I always felt somewhat insecure because my home never got the kind of attention granted to places of commensurate size and prominence. We have had so many things worthy of acclamation and respect, and all we ever got mentioned for was a dry heat. That grated on me so very badly, that the diverse and bustling state I have known has never been more than a blistering desert populated by more cacti than people in the nation's imagination.

Now, of course, there's something more regrettable than the fact that people are invariably surprised to hear that we have pine forests and snow up north. It makes me wonder about the places in this country that we have vilified. It never failed to occur to me that there would be in those places decent and intelligent people railing and raging against dark and risible legacies which threatened to swallow up whole the memory of everything good that ever happened there.

I can't defend what's becoming of Arizona in the minds of others. I don't know what to say about it. I want to heal the hurt and repair the damage, but I don't know how anyone can. This could be stopped in its tracks and put in reverse, but won't be any time soon. Even when it is, it will be remembered for even longer. It may never fade from memory. People will remember the things we did. They'll remember, even if we eventually do the right thing, that we did it for no principle other than money. If that's the reason that gets everyone on board, so be it. After that, we have to learn how to live with all of what's happened.