Unwanted Ride

Something that will undoubtedly cast me in a negative light is my belief that I am sometimes, in accepting a ride home from a friend, doing them a favor rather than receiving one from them. Of course, I always appreciate the kindness and generosity shown to me by others, although I am all too often remiss in my responsibility of showing them how I appreciate it. I like to think that I turn out a thank you here and there.

I do get a bit embarrassed about being done favors by others. I really would just as soon manage things by myself whenever it is practical. I make a point of not asking for a ride unless it is extremely necessary or so easy for the person to give that it is as if they are not doing anything out of the ordinary at all. It is otherwise not at all worth the impact on my relationship with that person, or the entry in my mental ledger of "favors owed". There are many such entries.

There are often those who volunteer a ride to me. I am glad to accept when it is not an incredible imposition on them and when it is of particular benefit to me. Why should I let them give if I do not receive? When the ride offered does not much good (such as when I have a very reliable way home in the form of a subway train), I try to assure them that while I appreciate the offer, it is not necessary. Sometimes that's good enough.

Sometimes though, I cannot convince them that I am fine on my own. It eventually reaches the point where I lose the will to resist, and I accept a ride that does me no good. I get the idea that, as I said, it is I doing the favor. The offerer of the ride has some kind of uneasy conscience about me traveling via as impossible a thing as public transportation. The matter is bound to improve though, either when I develop better social skills or when I develop a car.