Too Unique

Once again I am reminded that I am not like anyone else and that I especially don't think like anyone else. I read an item about some police officers shooting a dog. I don't know whether they were justified in doing so out of self-defense as they will likely claim or if they were in the wrong, but other people are not so reluctant to form an opinion. Without praising myself, I think the smartest people are the most aware of their ignorance. When I see a picture or video, I wonder what lies outside the frame, what happened before it was taken and what happened after.

Probably I would be the object of much disgust if my thinking about the matter became especially known. Anyway, it isn't that story that concerns me so much. It's just that thought that I am so painfully unique. There are plenty of people as smart as me or smarter, and naturally I'm bested by many in a variety of other areas, so don't get the idea that I'm saying this entirely in a good way. It's good for me, but it's also bad.

I wish like hell that I could take any opinion I have to one person or another and have it understood, even agreed with, but it's not so. As it is, this is true with some of what I have to say, but much of it finds no support or understanding. At best, I am met with some form of amused tolerance. Again and again, I'm surprised to find that what I assume to be common thoughts are in fact held exclusively in my head.

It's partly because of this that makes me feel so lonely sometimes. Even if I could entirely surpass my social awkwardness, I could not get over the fact that there is such little common ground between myself and most people. I can get through a conversation with some, and enjoy one with fewer, but to have an unending, free-ranging conversation with someone that doesn't leave me feeling very different is unknown to me. Seeing that otherness in a positive light is an ongoing process.