Crack It

I'll tell you something that's a hell of a pain. I like crackers, and who doesn't? Some crackers are flavorful enough that they stand on their own, but many need some help (or are themselves help to something else like soup). It is awfully tasty to have some cheese and crackers, and while I don't make a point generally of keeping them around the house, I do delight in gorging on them when I am lucky enough to have them come along.

I haven't gotten to the pain of it yet. It's nothing too original. It's just that you have the cheese log (or spread) and you have the crackers. You have two finite quantities of food, and the ratio of one to the other is hardly clear. I have always struggled with that kind of thing. It is very hard to ascertain how much cheese should go on each cracker in order to ensure that you have not merely the tastiest possible ratio, but one which ensures that there are no leftover crackers or cheese.

I got some great cheese and crackers to take home with me from the holidays, but alas there were two cheese logs to one box of the crackers. I did my best, but felt no pressure because I knew that there was definitely going to be cheese left after the crackers were exhausted. I was just going to have to buy more crackers, and that is what happened. Tragically, this box of crackers too was totally consumed with hardly half of the second cheese log expended.

I know just what has ruined things. You have to make a certain effort each time to have cheese and crackers, because it's very easy to dip into the box of crackers and eat them dry instead of getting out the cheese, a knife and a proper plate in order to do things right. You can do it a little maybe, but you have to be careful to not overdo it or else you will be in just the position that I am: in a cracker deficit. Learn from my folly.