The Drive To Succeed

Something that used to happen a fair amount, but which doesn't happen too much anymore, is that I would have to sneak away from gatherings of friends. It would get to where it was time to leave, and the rest would be driving. I would have walked there or taken public transportation, and I was self-conscious about it. I had no desire to be known as the guy who always needed a ride because he couldn't drive himself.

When people would leave, I would just try to confidently walk away in hopes that no one would notice me go and not stop at a car. It worked out that way often enough, but I would sometimes be embarrassed that it didn't. I'd accept a ride at that point, but had the notion that I wished the knowledge contained. Eventually everyone knew that I didn't have a car, but it seemed at that point to be a less stigmatized thing.

I still sometimes find myself in that position. The other night I found that no one I would ordinarily ride home with was around, and even those who might think to offer a ride did not think of it this time. I considered asking, but we happened to be somewhere from which I was supremely confident of easily getting home from. There was the matter of cold weather having set it, but it just wasn't enough to make me speak up.

I got home just fine, and no one saw me go or called me back. I figured that the direction I walked it took me away from where everyone's cars would drive on their way to the freeway. The way it played out was fine by me, I'll tell you that. I do hope to end up driving again someday, although I don't think I'll ever want to have to drive in a scenario like that evening. Barbra Streisand had played a big concert nearby. Yikes!