Let's Hope Not

I was idly thinking about life in prison the other day. It had come about when I remembered a recent news story in which inmates were fed meat not graded for human consumption. It occurred to me that worse things might happen to someone in such a place, and off I went on a contemplative tear. I wondered just how I would get along in prison. I can't do more than speculate, given that my knowledge of the place is based on what I assume to be largely inaccurate depictions in media.

People talk of unspeakable things that happen to the men in prison, but I don't know about that. There must be some truth in it, but such things are inevitably exaggerated for the sake of sensationalism. In any case, I doubt whether I would be able to get by on strength or brutality. I think it's also unlikely that I would be able to get along on my wits and general likability, as we've seen in prison films such as "The Shawshank Redemption".

On the other hand, maybe I could make something of my intelligence there. Maybe if I kept my more caustic humor to myself, I could win some minimal amount of support from fellow inmates. I wouldn't expect to be the most popular, but maybe I could at least be left alone to read. I could study up on the law, as I understand there's quite a call for prison lawyers. I don't see that as entirely likely, though. I just can't contain myself with that humor.

I am painting myself into a corner, I think. In the absence of any ability to repay viciousness with viciousness or to win over the vicious element with my wits, I would be hard-pressed to survive at all, and I'm sure I would have no aptitude for escape. It sounds rather bleak in the face of all that, contributing to a general impression of prison that makes it sound awfully undesirable. I think that I had better try and not get in there if I can help it.