You First

When I used to live with my parents, my father would go hiking on nearby mountain trails often, and I would go with him. When I come home and we are all together, then he and I go hiking sometimes as we used to. The mountain preserve is in the middle of the metro area, and it is heavily trafficked by people on bicycles, horses and foot. Only rigorous adherence to protocol and very conscientious behavior could keep those groups from quarreling.

It doesn't go so well, really. One thing that would seem to help is a general air of politeness. When two hikers cross paths, it's common for a hearty 'hello' to be exchanged. It's nice to be nice, but it doesn't go so well, as I said. My natural inclination is to say hello and then receive their hello. Unfortunately, the reply often isn't forthcoming. I don't know what it costs some people to say hello (because it must cost them dearly), but for me it's free.

As a consequence, I grow hesitant on the hiking trail to go out on a limb and initiate the hello. Too many times I have been burned. Too many times I have said hello, heard nothing and felt like a fool. Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but I feel at that moment a real rejection. It doesn't quite equate to having an offer of a date declined, but it's unpleasant nonetheless. To forestall that, I now sometimes wait for them to make the first move.

Sometimes I'm caught by surprise, and can barely get a 'hello' out. Maybe that's just what the people who snubbed me so often were dealing with. One must try to have some kind of sympathy for others, who always have a reason for behaving as they do. It may not always be satisfying, but it's there and real. For my part, I hope that I will always try to say 'Hello', or at least feel very badly if I don't manage to try.