Sidle Unto The Breach

Conversation can be difficult for me. Most people who know me will be surprised to hear that, probably because most of the people I know I have met in the last three or so years as I have opened up socially. Prior to that time I was more subject to the symptoms which got me diagnosed with Asberger's Syndrome, which is commonly described as a mild form of autism. I guess that I must have beaten it, but that is not to say that it does not sometimes affect me.

It's sort of like how things go for a young novice cyclist. Starting and stopping are both very difficult and fraught with peril, but in between, the act can be carried out with little trouble if any. Oh, the mighty struggles I've endured trying to get into a conversation! Smart phones have been a real blessing, because I can whip out my phone and pretend that I'm engaged in some kind of important business when in truth I am once again the wallflower that I used to be all the time.

It's great when a conversation develops right there around me. It's a little like getting a hot bath going, but lying there in the tub while the water rises around you. Unfortunately, I can't always count on that happening. When it doesn't, I have to go hunting for a conversation into which I can insert myself with at bare minimum some modicum of grace. I'll spot a cluster of people which is at least partly comprised of people I know, and I'll quietly sidle up to them and start listening.

The big mistake would be to try and boldly establish myself right away. When you're doing this, you've got to learn the lay of the land so that you can figure out what contribution you can make to pay your way in the conversation. It may be that there just isn't any, and you'll have to move along and find a conversation more in need of what you have to offer. There will surely be one. The important thing is to resist the urge to turn to that phone, and to be proactive. There's no assurance that people will come to you to talk. In order to speak with people of worth, you must go to them.