The Best Things

When something is consistently free, people are said to respect it too little to appreciate it. If it's free, the reasoning goes, it must not be good enough to charge for. Therefore, why should one want it and get it? I don't think this always holds true, but often does (at least to some extent). Of course, people do value things for which they must pay, so long as the thing proves to be worth it.

Then there are the things which ordinarily cost something, are worth it, and on some rare and special occasion are made available for free. This is where one might expect to see the best and worst in humanity. A well known national diner chain famous for their breakfast offerings periodically makes their signature meal available for free periodically. Valued at something in the area of six dollars, this is something seemingly prone to provoking public disturbances.

I, along with a large group of friends (being poor and hungry), decided to take advantage of the offer come hell or high water. As you may imagine, I was prepared for the worst. It just seemed very likely that the restaurant would be overwhelmed by demand, and bedlam would reign. I would expect this during the best of times, when people are working and have enough food. At such a time as this, I figured that conditions were ripe for a really upleasant situation to transpire.

We gathered together shortly after 10 o'clock, at which time the sky was looking rather ominous. We took this seriously, as the last two and a half months have been marked repeatedly by foreboding skies upon whose threats were made good. The restaurant seemed to have made sure that they were prepared in every respect. Their system for moving patrons in and out was smooth and well prepared. Tickets had been distributed to prevent fraud possible in the ordinary seating process (only now, I suppose, would such vulnerabilities be worth exploiting). Outside the building was to be found a red carpet, velvet ropes and a tent set up to guard against rain. There would be no trouble on the diner chain's account (outside of the ordinary, such as a crowded parking lot).

The weather was not just at risk of producing rain, but was in fact just plain cold. It alone was the real test of how much someone might endure for free pancakes, eggs, sausage and bacon. I and my friends suffered through the biting morning air with aplomb as we discussed such matters as interested us. I rather imagine that our discourse was unique among those taking place all throughout the line. Soon enough, we got within the doors, and in the end even were seated. The frantic, slow and surly service I anticipated did not materialize.

We in our party were all there for the free meal, but one person splurged on an iced tea, and most of us spent a dollar apart from that making substitutions. Evidently, anything apart from the four foods I mentioned produce a charge in that amount per substitution. I had wheat pancakes, hash browns (Jeez, Rockefeller!), sausage and hard boiled eggs (which were terrifying to behold. I shall order my eggs in a manner which they can handle next time).

Apart from the conversation (which I could hardly recount in its entirety), the only things of particular note remaining were the decidedly sub-par Mad Libs placemat and a survey. The survey was not really a survey- I guess it was just a form for us to fill out so that they could start sending us emails. The only interesting part of that was the Pirates of the Caribbean pens distributed to fill it out. The Mad Lib (probably not the original, official one) seemed to have a clear agenda of pushing the restaurant's products, but we managed to have some fun with it by inserting some words which ranged from unconventional to offensive.

It was really a delightful experience of the kind that I will surely cherish for some time to come, being shared as it was with such good friends. It is another indication of how fortunate I have been, at least socially.