Margin For Error

In recent years, I have begun to straight up a little bit. I have placed more importance on things like getting up at a decent hour, keeping things tidy and all the rest. I'm hardly perfect at any of those things, or even close to it. I do have a system that basically holds together and at least gives me the veneer of being put together. I hope to be solid all the way through someday, but what I have is enough for now.

It's mostly enough. It's fragile, though. I never have felt that I adapted well to a complication or an alteration in things. It was not unusual when I was driving for a minor road closure in an area I knew well to make me hopelessly lost. Disruptions in areas like doing the laundry or cooking a meal are similarly fatal. Imagine my surprise a few years ago when a personality test claimed I was good at adaptability.

Being back home with my family meddles with things. Every aspect of my system is thrown into chaos. My schedules are invalid. Getting up when I want to becomes hard, and going to bed is tough too- it's hard to write during the day among family I seldom see, and so that gets pushed into the late evening when I don't do decent stuff anyway. You may regard this very item as a case in point if you don't care for it.

Other things like showering are impaired when I am back home. Independent travel is really impossible.  Maybe it's these things that have me antsy and anxious to get back to Los Angeles after a few days. Still, I think there's value in shaking things up. As much as I believe that routines are my friend, they can lead to a complacency or a failure to grow and change. Every now and then a monkey wrench in the works is good, if it doesn't kill me.