Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Dime? Not Small Time

I keep my loose change fairly well organized, and maybe better than some. Each denomination goes into a separate jar, with the smallest ones obviously accumulating most rapidly, being the heaviest, and amounting to the least in terms of value. I don't do much with those. I suppose that sooner or later I'll put them through one of those change machines only to be astounded at how little I get out of it. I have low expectations.

The larger denominations are really where it's at. The quarters are obviously for laundry, and for somebody else would also be for parking meters. The quarters are boring to me. The interesting denominations are the nickels and dimes. Those are the ones that figure into the time-honored expression about small-timing someone. I use them as a gateway to quarters. As you may recall, I buy sodas in the laundry room with them.

I also can convert them into quarters. Now, this is top secret, so don't go blabbing it to my neighbors or to whoever runs the vending machine, because what I do could end up not working anymore. I don't know why it works now. You see, obviously if you put in a dollar bill and spend 75 cents, it gives you back a quarter. It also does this if you put in two dimes and a nickel, or five nickels. With that knowledge and pounds of nickels and dimes, you can do something.

My natural preference is just to use quarters for the laundry machine, but sometimes you come up short. It's a terrible moment when your mouth goes dry, your stomach flutters and your mind goes haywire. Other freak out, but I spring into action with fistfuls of small coins, and the day is saved. It works when it's just me, but it sure wouldn't work if everyone was trying to do that or if the company owning the machine started rejecting anything but quarters and dollars, so keep quiet.

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