Failure!

Well the speech was not a success, although I suppose it was not the total failure that the above subject line makes it out to be. As I thought would be the case, execution was where things went awry. I felt I was doing reasonably well until midway through the speech, when I just blanked. Could not remember the next part, or any part after that where I could pick it up again. I did fairly well at not filling the silence with ums and ahs, but indefinite silence was not feasible. I retrieved my notes, which I had put out of reach in the hopes that it would stimulate me into more movement on the stage. I did get away from the podium, but did not move around much.

So I got my notes, and used them to get going again. The rest of my speech was ugly, but at least I brought the train into the station, and even lasted long enough to qualify. Of course I didn't win best speaker, but I had no expectation of doing so.

Once I was done, I felt stung and knew that I would be facing a kind but critical evaluation. I wanted to badly to get back on the horse, and my only chance to do that was table topics. I got into the last one, which was a hastily created topic about justifying why I deserved to be an NBA cheerleader. I think I did well with that. I felt better, and I think it softened the damage from the lapse during my speech. As a matter of fact, I managed to beat out four people for best table topics.

On the whole, it was a wash for me. I was given good advice about avoiding blanking again. Until now, I had been writing a full speech, attempting to memorize every word, and then delivering it like it were a Shakespearean monologue. If I ever perform in live theater or on screen, I guess I'll have to learn better how to memorize. When giving speeches though, I will henceforth take the advice of my fellow club members, and simply memorize an outline of bullet points, extemporaneously fleshing them out as I go. The exception, I was advised, was to memorize the beginning and end. I'll do my next speech that way, and hopefully it will be better. I think that my next speech might be "why my last speech didn't work".
Now, I may go to another competitive toastmasters event later this week, and will comment on it if I do.