Monday, October 3, 2011

No Disrespect

Always of considerable interest to me is how others see me. I value most the opinions of those who know me best and who I naturally trust, but I'm also curious to know how strangers see me. In a sense, their perspective is every bit as informative as those who are actually qualified to say what is actually true about me. These strangers are not encumbered by what lies beneath the surface, so only they can really say what the surface entails.

The other day, I was coming home from a Toastmasters meeting. I happened to be going from a bus to a subway train, and at that particular station there is a hot dog cart which offers its wares at the exceptionally reasonable price of a dollar apiece. I often partake. I get the hot dog, load it up with ketchup and onions and do my best to find a shady spot to eat it. Usually I'm going from one bus to another, and I eat the hot dog near the pickup point.

It was not so this time. As I was going down into the station and not in a hurry, I sat down across from the entrance and leaned against the big system map display. This was a bad spot, I'll concede. I didn't imagine anyone would actually need it. Clearly that was a misjudgment. A couple of young guys came up when I was about three quarters of the way through my hot dog. They were hoping to get a look at the map, and I was in the way.

What's funny to me is how deferential and tentative they were in trying to get me out of the way. I think that maybe I look kind of tough or something. It's possible that they were that polite, but in this day and age almost anything is a more plausible explanation for human behavior, even that I would look like a formidable figure of intimidation to anyone. I do wonder if that's true. In the case of those two guys, I did my best to put them at ease, but I wonder if I could have pressed my advantage, or at least not totally dispelled their apparent impression. Maybe next time I'll try.

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