Oracular Journalism

I didn't study journalism (or as those who did say, go to "j-school"), but I like to think myself qualified of critiquing the efforts of those who did as much as the efforts of those who pursued any degree I didn't. This is because I am fairly well experienced in consuming the end result of journalists. Probably reading a newspaper on even an infrequent basis these days makes me an authority and a connoisseur. The amount of news I read online definitely does. The large amount of television news I watch might be a mark against me, but I think I'm still pretty justified in passing judgement on the efforts of reporters of any medium. What I think is that my mother makes for a better journalist than many of them on the strength of her time as a graphic artist. Illustrations for local business advertisements are honest and noble- qualities not guaranteed to be found around the newsroom.

The  reason which compelled me to write has to do with the sources journalists employ for their work, not just in print but in all media. I have come to believe that many of them are leaning very heavily on the occult in order to learn the most compelling information that graces their work. It's an unfortunate truth that much of what one would most like to know about a person is deep inside their mind, and the layman has no means of unlocking it. The layman, of course, has not attended journalism school, where they have ways of seeing inside minds, hearts and souls all. I wonder indeed at this gift which allows them to casually report the inner workings of a subject's very cerebrum.

Unbelievably, it's a talent possessed by more than the top newsman who garners lead articles and face time on the elite prime time programs. From the news anchor to the lowly color commentator in the sports division, they all know just what newsmakers are thinking. It's enough to make one wonder what they themselves are thinking. The sage in the press box knows what the coach on the field thinks and what he wants to do. The columnist working on deadline knows things that would be unknowable if he were operating solely within the confines of the present in this plane of existence. Aren't we fortunate that someone is out there with his hands on a crystal ball to share with us Ole Miss head football coach Houston Nutt's true motives for what he does, when a sworn statement from the man's own wife probably could not be trusted to do that?

It makes me think that such psychic journalists are really wasting their miraculous skills. I would plead with them to do even more- perhaps to enter the realm of criminal justice as real life Cal Lightmans. Maybe they could peer into the spiritual world, personally bringing fulfillment into the lives of billions. In the tech world, they might journey into the future and bring back to us reports of the marvels making life easier. Whatever they do, I shall endeavor to enjoy the fruits of our newsmen very much and glean what wisdom I can given the undisciplined nature of my own attempts at clairvoyance.