Janey Law

I gather that in the army, every officer and enlisted man is regarded as a rifleman. At least I heard remarks along those lines made in 'Patton' and 'Band Of Brothers'. What it means to me is that no matter what duties any of them is assigned, they must be fit to fight. Whether a cook, a typist or a driver, each was to be in good shape and familiarity with the tools of war. I find that admirable if as true as I imagine it to be. I don't think it is so true in other realms of human endeavor.

I happened to be out on the sidewalk in front of my bank when a meter maid was writing a ticket for some SUV. I say meter maid in spite of its perhaps archaic nature because I know of no more appropriate term, be the person in that job a man or a woman. I cannot think of anyone in Parking Enforcement who appeared fit to do anything but what they were, and in many cases I think they would benefit from being shifted to something even less labor-intensive.

Understand that I make no comment on appearance. It's not my concern whether we have good-looking law enforcement personnel (a term which may be somewhat misapplied here, but in my mind only out of technicality). I think we ought to have personnel who can reliably complete a mile run or lift an average amount of weight, even if their sole responsibility is to drive around in a little hybrid, writing tickets and earning the ire of every driver in the city. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

Instead, what have we? People I wouldn't trust to run security in a daycare for fear they'd be overwhelmed by superior strength and speed. I guess it must cost a fair amount more to employ physically fit people. They say that those who would once have been talented boxers are now tight ends and linebackers, and that those who would have been relegated to submarines for their lesser eyesight now get laser surgery and can be pilots as they often wished. Poor physical attributes likewise probably turn a potentially outstanding police officer into a ticket writer. Might they have the mind for the job and just not the body? No, I don't think so. I've heard them speak, and I don't think they have either.