While The Getting Is Good

I don't like saying goodbye. I mean that specifically within the context of a social occasion. When there's a party, or some chatting going on after a formal situation, I invariably seem to stay until the bitter end. That way, each person comes to say goodbye to me on their way out, and I don't have to go over to each of them. Really, I would rather it were the other way around. I have this strong dislike for leaving good times on the table. I don't want to go while the evening is still good. The result is that I just keep hanging on past the sensible point. Really, I wish I possessed the discipline to leave when I realize that while there's still a little more fun left, that it's downhill from that point and not worth the inordinate trouble which begins to mount. It's comparable to a pot of rice. You easily get out most of it, then start sweating trying to get the last little bit, and why?

The tough thing is being the first one to go during a specific range of time. People who have something in the morning following a night party or very soon that same day for a day occasion fill this role, and God bless them for that. The rest are people with nothing going on (or who don't care about fulfilling their obligations) and are mere dominoes waiting to fall. I'm of that kind, mainly just going with the flow. I've heard the strategy of picking someone in the group, and deciding immediately that you'll go when they do. I wonder about how one would decide who, and whether that yields the right outcome. I guess as long as one goes before the consequences of excess begin to manifest themselves. It's sort of like how Dr. Strangelove talks about the people who will re-start American society from inside a mineshaft after a nuclear exchange. He assures everyone that their memories of the above world will be uniformly positive since they will not experience the catastrophe firsthand, so they won't be depressed or suicidal.

As I said, I can't bear to get out while the fun isn't at its height but is still good. There's the goodbye thing, and also maybe those who were deprived of inclusion over-indulge once finally granted it. I know when the time comes, but mainly just can't make myself pull the trigger. It sometimes happens that I go at the same time as someone purely because they are my ride, but I think I feel glad that something has forced the issue on those occasions. I just say loudly with a big, sweeping wave, "Goodbye", and then am gone. There is a second reason for getting out before the end, and it has to do with how one is perceived by others. People see the person who usually or at least often leaves just as things begin to wind down differently from the way they see the one who desperately clings to the occasion until the bitter end. I think I'd rather be the former, but I'm the latter. I have a third, very practical reason to go before it gets very late. A car can leave the party and arrive home in the same amount of time be it 10, 11, midnight or 3 in the morning.  Not so a city bus or train. A trip of an hour at midnight becomes 90 minutes at 1 and can be two or three hours after that if not all night until the whole system returns to service.

So it is that the stakes are somewhat higher for me, assuming a ride doesn't happen. You would think then that I would muster the discipline to make my move when the threshold approaches. That's never been my attitude, really. I'm reminded of the movie "Gattaca". In in, those who can afford it are genetically modified for better health, further inflaming the class divide. The protagonist is not modified, but beats his modified brother in swimming races. He explains that he has managed to do so because he does not save any strength for the swim back from the finishing point as his brother does. That's kind of what I do.