Strange Assignations

Having become a more social person in recent years, I've become acquainted with most forms of social encounters. Most of them are based on some ostensible purpose or objective other than socializing with that person. I think it's really bad news when you actually hear, "We need to talk". Built around an event or activity, I have no difficulty grasping the encounter. Even though I understand getting together with the excuse being food or drink instead of activity, it's still an odd thing to me. When the stated reason has the former, there's probably a higher probability of positive purpose, but I find myself mystified by them anyway.

I wish very much that we could just be frank about what we're doing together in some coffee shop. Food has always been a social lubricant, and I'm not sorry that it's at the heart of most cultures, but I do wonder why people don't care to admit that they desire social contact. Instead they pretend the coffee or a hamburger is what matters so much, and they're disinclined to consume it alone. I don't know if that's what has me ill at ease about such encounters independent of a second shared experience, but it's what I think about next. Maybe that's it exactly. I think it may be that a coffee just isn't enough in my mind to bring a couple of people together. I went over to someone's place to eat over the weekend, but we were also watching football. That felt like a valid reason to be there.

Getting together with someone at a coffee shop makes me think they're going to confront me with something. My mind starts turning up potential grievances the person may have, and I then begin working on my response to their complaints. Maybe it's all the thrillers where they meet at some place like that and all the heavy stuff goes down. One guy pulls out a manila envelope with glossy black and white photographs in it, the other one turns ashen and caves to the first guy's demands. It's a disconcerting association. When do they ever have that exchange while cycling? They can't. Maybe that's why I like such encounters better.

I may change on this, though. I tend towards the multitasking that my favored get togethers could be described as, but multitasking has been roundly discredited. Even those who claim to be good at it prove to be at best no more productive then single-task people, and actually are probably less productive. I'm trying to learn the focus that leaves one content to be in the moment. Maybe if I get the hang of that, I'll feel at ease with simple meetings of such clear purpose.