Alarmed

It seems like I'm not in charge of when I get up anymore. I don't just mean that responsibilities require me to get up at some hour each day, although that is more and more true. I do now have good reasons to get up early most days, and it is often in fact crucial that I do so. Necessity does not lead automatically to occurrence, however. Something else is compelling me to get up at a particular hour, and I can't say that it's my alarm. I've had plenty of alarms, and sometimes more than one at a time, but none of them seemed to get the job done, no matter how loud they were or how I arranged them in such a way that I would really have to get up to silence them.

I would say it was the alarm if I didn't keep waking up before the alarm (which is an annoyance I know I'm not the first to speak of). The thing getting me up is something intangible and inexplicable. Some would call it an internal clock or a biological one. Such a thing would be born of routine, but I don't know that I would say I've built any such routine. As I've said, any given week will have me getting up at 5am some days and noon others. That is not the stuff habits are made of. Of course the search is on for the real cause of this phenomenon. It's said that once you eliminate the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. I've ruled out what I believe to be impossible, so let's see where that leads me.

It's less like a habitual thing happening and more like some my strings are being pulled. If that's the case, then obviously some kind of intelligent and dominant force is at work. If I assume that to be the case, then I think the most helpful thing will be to examine potential motives. Being up early ends up making me more productive. That fact would point to a benevolent force, which could be God. Complicating matters is the exact nature of my productivity, which is frequently mischievous at best. I'm disinclined to position Satan as an alternate possibility, as it seems like he would go further than to have me spend extra time awake making snide remarks. I'm going to say that if it's not God then it is probably some kind of extraterrestrial of such omnipotence and omniscience that he would get bored and manipulate humans like me just to kill time.

I'm not complaining. Whoever is responsible and whatever that being's motives, I know that I benefit, and that's enough. Soon maybe that being will carry this thing to its natural conclusion by compelling me to go to bed at a responsible hour as well as to get up at one. That he/she/it does not is itself a piece of evidence worth contemplation, though I don't think it will prove to affect my findings on the basis of the other clues previously uncovered. There's one thing that I do know: If I do find out the whole truth, I will attempt to harness what is at work on me for profit. That's the American way.